Sunday, December 2, 2007

long time no see...

Its been a real long time that i 'blogged' - still the word makes me wanna puke...

anyway... that outta the system... i was thinking of what to blog (yuk) about... i've been to lotsa places since my swiss trip... and everyone of which was just amazing! Pisa, Rome, Milan, AMSTERDAM! and few more! thought i'd write about that...
but thats for some other time... coz i need to get the pics in order...

so... now, lets talk about porn :) I see you scrolling down... sorry! there are no 'that kinda' pics here! u gotta go to the proper websites... if you want a list, let me know... i can help you...

but anyway... i was reading a post by incognito boy...
and then i thought... yeah! i've been there!! and to juice it up, i'm talkin bout porn :D

so here i'm in flash back mode... those days!! were real cool! :)

**********************************************************************
Disclaimer - Internet is one of the best sources of information... i owe my present state to internet... lotsa info that i have... many friends i've made -> the internet... how i stay in touch with my frnds and family from 5ive thousand miles away is only because of internet!
and i dont want to hear anyone say internet means porn. period... coz thats not true... porn is also kinda info... u kno... so... dont equate internet = porn... remember, porn > internet :)
***********************************************************************

it started after 10th std, in the year 2000 AD... i'd finished the exams and was getting ready to go to the Intel International Science and Engineering Fair... and i needed to send receive mails! And i was new to using a computer! so i asked my neighbour to make an email ID for me...
he wanted my birthday as well! i was like... ow! cool... its like a passport or something! a freakin mailID!!
the next day, he told me it was done...
mailID - Venkatasubramanian.M@excitemail.com (with a unique name like this, i dont need to use numbers and all!)
password - i seriously dont remember!! i think it was something like venkat_85 or something...

back in those days, excitemail was free... just for curiosity, i did open excite.com, just now, and they've kicked me out i guess! :(

so... he was the one who used to check my mails and tell me... and i would tell him what to reply...

then one day i though i'd try it myself... it was the holidays... and I had nothing much to do really! so, i set out... with a friend of mine... Mr.Mohan... (guru... if you happen to read this, just leme kno u exist)
he used to sit next to me in school... it was with him that i "learnt" what an intercourse is... off course with the help of an oxford dictionary... and some quick wit! thats another amusing story... may narrate ASAP...

anyway... i took him over to an internet cafe... it was called Netizen :) and we had to pay about 30 bucks an hour, i guess... and then opened excite.com and keyed in my name and password, which i'd on a piece of paper... i'm not jason bourne!! rather, i was not :P

and i typed in my corespondent's mail id and the message and wola! i'd sent my first email!
we used to come almost daily... and my mom used to give me those 30 bucks... and then one day, the ingenious mohan came up with an idea... you guessed right... porn!! :)
i new they existed, but never knew how to go about... lets just say i didnt know the art of gettin pics of naked women on my computer screen!
and mr.hero told me there is a website jcbaba dot com... (thats what i heard)
i was sitting at the keyboard, as I'd paid for the internet... and then i typed www.jcbaba.com... and i got a "This Page can't be displayed" message!
and then he said it was desi baba dot com... and then it appeared... the desibaba.com verification page...
clicked on the "Click here if you are above 18" button (seriously i dont still know why they have that) and then opened the home page...
the first porn site i'd ever visited!
First time i saw the stuff... was awestruck!! :) you dont get to see a fukin nude woman every day! atleast i had not gotta see that everyday... untill that day :)
two freakin 10th std kids sittin in an internet cafe lookin at naked women, for the first time :) Internet... u fukin RULE!
we went straight to the actress section and were drooling over the numerous fakes pics of actresses... how many times i've visited that site after that, even god cant tell! :)
now i'm so damn good that i dont need to visit any website for seeing naked women... i can do it right in my head - anyone, anywhere, anytime ;) ,\,,/ its an art... not everyone can do it... or appreciate it :)
next year... i was in PUC... and there was a new chain of cyber cafes that opened near my place... and they had branches near my college as well... and as an intro they gave 30 minutes of browsing for free (jagga and suraj would remember the names of this offer as well!!)... haha... somebody gonna get a hurt real bad! how many aliases i've used i dont know! free internet porn!! YES PLEASE!! even today i'll be intrigued by that offer!! if you say ur not, you are lying... and thats a pho phuk lai! (damn! Russel Peters is the man!!)
i'd used so many aliases and had taken so many people to the free internet thing that those people could recognise me! so i was not allowed any more... and in two branches... gandhi bazar and rajajinagar... paapa!

that was long ago... and then i grew... and i knew how to use floppies... and then in the next level, i knew how to use Ctrl-Alt-Del... some cyber cafes used to have a program which would automatically log u out after the time u've paid for... unless u hit Ctrl-Alt-Del and disable that software... and then it was P.A.R.T.... Y? because it was unlimited browsing for price of 30 minutes!! - i miss this! now i cant simply Ctrl-Alt-Del my way around no more!

and, by reading all this, dont get me totally wrong! when i say browsing, i don't always mean porn!! many factors decides what i do on internet!
the place where the comp was situated in the cafe was a major concern... often i used to fight for a secure PC :) else, i used to goto F1.com... collect pictures of cars, planes, super models (FYI also clothed ones) and many many things... i used to play online games... even now i have more than 10000 points at indiatimes contests... and i havent redeemed them points at all... and there was contests2win... i think this is still there...

you may ask, if i have ever been caught doing this... and the answer is NO... the only possibility of anyone finding out about this is after reading this blog! - now it doesn't really bother me if someone finds out ,\,,/
i used to take several measures while doing it at home... and i tell you internet explorer sucks... use mozilla! its damn easy to erase traces! :)

next question... do i do it now? - well... now i dont really go behind pics of nekkid wumen (unless they are exxxtremely hot, these ones deserve to be posters in my room), i have limewire and naughty america :)

No comments: