Inndiaaaaa Inndiaaaa! clap clap clap... Inndiaaaaa Inndiaaaa! clap clap clap!
**********no disclaimer**********
i want every single mofo to read this and understand what shit he/she is upto
if u cant handle this language... u will never be able to handle anything at all!
u must be happy u were not in front of me when i was typing this...
*******no disclaimer ends********
what ever you say, our country rules! there is no way that is going to change!!
after 4 months in europe, i have learnt it, the fukin hard way...
Believe me ladies and gentelmen... damen und herren... u dont know what our country is worth!
this is a warning message to all those leaving India to "pursue" "higher fukin studies" or whatever in the US or wherever the hell they are going...
just lose that thought... you are getting no where...
first... leme start with the basics...
why do we study?
to learn new things...
why?
i'm interested in something and i wanna know more...
what else?
i like this... i like that... blah blah....
ok! time out! stop all this... and tell me where u are headed?
i wanna give the world some thing... i wanna make a goddamn difference... i dont wanna live like some normal nigger...
oh! so... u wanna be supernormal? beware... be fukin aware... u may be headed towards abnormality!!
i did a little bitta questioning about why ppl go abroad... and the reasons i got are pathetic!
if u tell me i'm goin abroad coz i wanna bone some biach n make a mark, that would be close to reality... everything else is 100% pure unadulterated bird poo...
here are some of the reasons i get! and i quote
"not enough opportunities here"
"the course i'm taking up is not available here"
"too much discrimination based on caste... and with reservation, i get nothing" - the one reason i felt sorry about
"i wanna make a difference... i will come back and do something for my country" - well u better remember the latter part... i hope the perspective of my country doesnt change!!
"prospects of a better job"
"$ dude! i can make a hell lotta money" - go for it man! u can do it!!
see what i mean!!
you are prepared to leave your country, your parents, your near and dear ones for ever!! and for such lame reasons?!!
i goddamn cant comprehend this shit!! are u drunk or something?!!
dont you think the only thing that you need to do in life, as your goddamn moral responsibility, is to keep your parents happy? so... screw thoughts of world improvement and such other "noble" endevours...
first do what u must do... you are not albi (i call einstein that, tribute to FRIENDS episode 9x20).
and the first step in keepin your parents happy is in your presence with them...
life... ur living it, not for urself... its for ur family, ur mom, ur dad, ur sis, ur bro and prolly ur unknown children and then the known ones as well... and... u dont need to make urs so glamorous... u gotta kill ur ass to make theirs glamorous... and going abroad is not the fukin way!
u wanna live happily, what better way than making the ones around u feel good about ur fukin presence?
do u know what is the most important thing u need to make that happen?? its easy... u gotta fukin be there, with them... when they need u... & making a fukin phone call from some foreign soil and saying "hi... im doing good... listen, i need to go, i got an assignment to submit in one hour" doesnt exactly qualify...
what good is it if you are 10 hours behind IST and you need two years to come back... for a short visit! coz u dont get enough holidays... and the tickets are damn expensive!
oh hero! you were on a quest for making money... what point in making it and not spending it?! damn! u people! so fukin unbelivable!
do you understand how much this decision is going to change you life?! it will never again be the same!
and for one moment, dont think its fun to live in a foreign developed country... no matter how developed the country is, you are still a foreigner there... and they know it!
do you fancy taking a shower in a 4x4 tub, with curtains drawn so that no water gets spilt on the non water proof floor?! who the makes a bathroom floor and doesnt make it water proof?! "oops! sorry, i forgot!"
a goddamn bathroom needs to be water proof! its the basic requirement!
you are not allowed a postpaid mobile connection as u dont have a SSN (social secutiry number, a number to identify ur lame ass coz numbers are easier to search than people's names) which u get only when u work. and prepaids suck as incoming calls are charged!!
plus... do u fancy working as a waiter in a restaurant? a janitor in a dorm (unless its a gals dorm, i'm not at all interested), a moote horavnu in wallmart (they dont make u horu moote... but its boxes and u operate machines)... just because they are fancy, doesnt mean u can do it! cleaning a toilet with a parke or a mop makes no goddamn diff... its the same... cleaning shit! (in the ultimate meaning of the word, tribute to beasty's 39 page essay)
to one of the guys i asked this, and he said it was a welcome break! from hectic schedule! and something new he hadn't done before!! WHAT? u think its cool to work like that? i would rather kill myself than serve food to a foreigner, who is in no way thankful for it!
i would rather be a waiter in a sea side restaurant in goa... atleast people coming there like India...
have you ever served food to your parents? cleaned your own toilets? NO... thats was not 'ur' work...
KISS MY ASS... u losers! you know what else you have never done before? and you will never be able to do ever in your life... Suck your own dicks...
and getting into a US university is a pain in the ass... and thats an understatement! the number of documents u need to produce, literally produce... "statement of purpose" as it is called! recos... if i were you, i would go there, give them the finger and come back... and would open a nair chaaya shap on hosur road...
why are you so ready to kiss ass?? that too a white american one?!
werent you the one complaining about lack of opportunities here?! you are not capable of getting a decent score good enough to get you into the course of your choice! and you were pissed with the reservations! but you are fukin ready to kiss some lilly ass giving loads of reocs, given by our people, making some cock and bull story for the "SOP" haha! i can only laff at u infedels!!
as for me... i'm content with leading a normal life... atleast i'm happy and i dont have a constant fire all over my ass... i can afford to eat Vena stores idly, drink a brahmin coffee bar by-two coffee, eat that occassional VB dosa... go for an MTR full meals, just because i can and u cant... and dont even get me started on the junk food... its divine! gobi manchurian... masala puri... paani puri... and i dont have to restrain myself from spending money... i have saved enough... its time to savour... and u guys aready there, enjoy your half cooked rasam and rice with some dipshit chips that tastes like shit... the ones yet to get elevated to that state, well think about it... its nor all that worthy u see...
23 people changed their decision and are happy to be where they are after reading this...
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Scorpions!!
my first concert :)
yes! the scorpions in bangalore, 16th december 2007!!
I knew Scorpions from the first time they came to bangalore... during 2000-2001... and that time i had not started listening to English music!! :) yes! all my English music gyan and following just started around that time!!
I had not listened to any of their songs!! and then, one day on Radio City (the old one, which rocked) Suresh Venkat played hurricane 2000... and gawd! was i spellbound!! the orchestra ruled!! never had i heard that high speed violins (untill i heard salaam bombay by Rahman) what a song Hurricane is!! u must listen to believe it!!
from that day on... i am listening to Scorpions... Hurricane, Lady Star light, Moment of Glory... and then my friend opened my ears to Holiday and Wind of Change! please please listen to these few songs at least ( though u r not a rock fan)! its worth ur time!!
and then... on that day, there i was... with Vijay Narendra of Blendzzz fame!
i was astonished when he told me that the Scorpions released their first album in 1972...
and that after that, every 2-3 years they have continuously released newer albums!!
It takes a lot to have a band, performing concerts, releasing newer albums, unlike many others who release a best of 80s album thingys!!
and i was immediately calculating... assuming the singer was 20 when he released his first album... its been 30 odd years now... and that means he must be 50 odd now!! Holy Jesus!!
The Scorpions are Veterans at the art of crowd entertainment! they know what the audience want! they know how to deliver too!!
the very thought that we were not even born, not until 10 years after the release of their first album, gave me chills!!
the wait was pretty agonizing! especially since we were inside the enclosure 2 hours before the start... and we had to simply wait!! with the HH Hunk's waste add coming over and over again...
but then... the opening act by Nervewreck was ok ok... they need to learn a lot more! waste bodys dont know that the crowd dont recognise them and that they must play a popular song, from a more famous band, at least for the opening act! but no... they played some song, which wasnt bad... but still... was pretty unheard and also lasted just too long... but then, they did try to clean up the spillt milk by starting off Metallica's Where ever I may Roam... but then, they added a little bitta the nervewrek shit and it was history...
they are a talented band no doubt... but they need to learn to woo the crowd!!
anyway! the wait was over! and there stood in front of me, Scorpions! not on a video, but fukin real ones!! i was waiting for that very moment!!
and when i heard the guitar... OMG! i cant even put those moments in words!!
Every song they played... so much energy!! its hard to imagine the amount of energy they had!
they jumped, kept runnin all around the stage... kicking air... dancing, offcourse doing their trade mark steps and offcourse singing! Klaus Meine, the lead singer, is simply mind blowing!!
the pitch he can reach will make most other singers shy! i'm sure Nervewrek had a real nervewrek watching the Scorpions perform! these buggers were almost standstill!! the only visible movement was the leadsinger/guitatrist moving his over grown hair outta his fukin face!!
Here I am... the song of all times!! Klaus sang Here I am... and all of us, from the crowd yelled Send me an Angel... the atmosphere is un-describable...
some of the super hi-fi songs that the scorpions put up included Zoo, Send me an Angel, 321, big city nights, humanity, tease me please me and so on!
and when they brought in the aucostic guitar... tears almost ran down my cheks!
"Here i ammm.... Send me an angel"!! that was just the start!!
"let me take u far away... you'd like a holiday!" Scorpio fellas, you are the best!!
I couldnt resist... so i called up my friend, panta, and made him listen... useless fellow! u missed the show ma!! i hope they come back again!! and soon!! so that we can go!! :)
and when the whistle started... i was mesmerized!! i couldnt help but yell "Taaaake me... to the maggeeek of the moment... on a glooory night.. Where the children of tomorrow... dream awaaay... in the wind of change..." oh my sweet lord!!
i also cant forget Big City Nights... Big City... Big city nights! Bangaloreee... Big city... big city nights... i still have that visual stored in my head!!
off course Humanity!! what an album that is!! at such age! after so many years of rock! they still have the same charm! the same touch! what i describe as awe-fukin-some!!
and then... they sang one more master piece from their new album... the song, i later got to know, is called 321... wow!! what a song!!
saaaaaave me...
coz the worlds gonna stop...
baby 3 2 1
are u ready to rock...
are u ready to rock, are you ready to rock, are you ready to rock,
Tonight!!
simply superb!!
and then... they played Hurricane!! i almost broke down!!
me and vijay were looking at each other's awestruck faces for every song they played... with a wide smile... so much anxiety... we were 10 times more than ecstatic!! and then, boy tells "we're not gonna leave you... untill we rock you like a?"
oh brother! that time i knew... the time had come!! my heart skipped a beat...
then the guitars started... oh bajezus... and klaus... tran tran... Its early morning... the sun comes out... last night was shaking... and pretty loud... my cat is purring... and scratches my skin... so what is wrong with anaaaother sin? The bitch is hungry, she needs to tell... so give her inches and feed her well... more days to come new... places to go... Ive got to leave its... time for a shoooooww...
Here I am, rocked you like a hurricane
Here I am, rocked you like a hurricane
Oh my god!! i simply cant forget that night!! and that is when i decided, i'm going to every live concert that i have access to!!
Scorpions! My god!! i bow... no prostrate to them!!
and to know more, Klaus is a '48 born!! which means... he is... freakin almost 60 years old! and the energy he has! you HAVE to see the Scorpions live! atleast once in your freakin short ass life!!
yes! the scorpions in bangalore, 16th december 2007!!
I knew Scorpions from the first time they came to bangalore... during 2000-2001... and that time i had not started listening to English music!! :) yes! all my English music gyan and following just started around that time!!
I had not listened to any of their songs!! and then, one day on Radio City (the old one, which rocked) Suresh Venkat played hurricane 2000... and gawd! was i spellbound!! the orchestra ruled!! never had i heard that high speed violins (untill i heard salaam bombay by Rahman) what a song Hurricane is!! u must listen to believe it!!
from that day on... i am listening to Scorpions... Hurricane, Lady Star light, Moment of Glory... and then my friend opened my ears to Holiday and Wind of Change! please please listen to these few songs at least ( though u r not a rock fan)! its worth ur time!!
and then... on that day, there i was... with Vijay Narendra of Blendzzz fame!
i was astonished when he told me that the Scorpions released their first album in 1972...
and that after that, every 2-3 years they have continuously released newer albums!!
It takes a lot to have a band, performing concerts, releasing newer albums, unlike many others who release a best of 80s album thingys!!
and i was immediately calculating... assuming the singer was 20 when he released his first album... its been 30 odd years now... and that means he must be 50 odd now!! Holy Jesus!!
The Scorpions are Veterans at the art of crowd entertainment! they know what the audience want! they know how to deliver too!!
the very thought that we were not even born, not until 10 years after the release of their first album, gave me chills!!
the wait was pretty agonizing! especially since we were inside the enclosure 2 hours before the start... and we had to simply wait!! with the HH Hunk's waste add coming over and over again...
but then... the opening act by Nervewreck was ok ok... they need to learn a lot more! waste bodys dont know that the crowd dont recognise them and that they must play a popular song, from a more famous band, at least for the opening act! but no... they played some song, which wasnt bad... but still... was pretty unheard and also lasted just too long... but then, they did try to clean up the spillt milk by starting off Metallica's Where ever I may Roam... but then, they added a little bitta the nervewrek shit and it was history...
they are a talented band no doubt... but they need to learn to woo the crowd!!
anyway! the wait was over! and there stood in front of me, Scorpions! not on a video, but fukin real ones!! i was waiting for that very moment!!
and when i heard the guitar... OMG! i cant even put those moments in words!!
Every song they played... so much energy!! its hard to imagine the amount of energy they had!
they jumped, kept runnin all around the stage... kicking air... dancing, offcourse doing their trade mark steps and offcourse singing! Klaus Meine, the lead singer, is simply mind blowing!!
the pitch he can reach will make most other singers shy! i'm sure Nervewrek had a real nervewrek watching the Scorpions perform! these buggers were almost standstill!! the only visible movement was the leadsinger/guitatrist moving his over grown hair outta his fukin face!!
Here I am... the song of all times!! Klaus sang Here I am... and all of us, from the crowd yelled Send me an Angel... the atmosphere is un-describable...
some of the super hi-fi songs that the scorpions put up included Zoo, Send me an Angel, 321, big city nights, humanity, tease me please me and so on!
and when they brought in the aucostic guitar... tears almost ran down my cheks!
"Here i ammm.... Send me an angel"!! that was just the start!!
"let me take u far away... you'd like a holiday!" Scorpio fellas, you are the best!!
I couldnt resist... so i called up my friend, panta, and made him listen... useless fellow! u missed the show ma!! i hope they come back again!! and soon!! so that we can go!! :)
and when the whistle started... i was mesmerized!! i couldnt help but yell "Taaaake me... to the maggeeek of the moment... on a glooory night.. Where the children of tomorrow... dream awaaay... in the wind of change..." oh my sweet lord!!
i also cant forget Big City Nights... Big City... Big city nights! Bangaloreee... Big city... big city nights... i still have that visual stored in my head!!
off course Humanity!! what an album that is!! at such age! after so many years of rock! they still have the same charm! the same touch! what i describe as awe-fukin-some!!
and then... they sang one more master piece from their new album... the song, i later got to know, is called 321... wow!! what a song!!
saaaaaave me...
coz the worlds gonna stop...
baby 3 2 1
are u ready to rock...
are u ready to rock, are you ready to rock, are you ready to rock,
Tonight!!
simply superb!!
and then... they played Hurricane!! i almost broke down!!
me and vijay were looking at each other's awestruck faces for every song they played... with a wide smile... so much anxiety... we were 10 times more than ecstatic!! and then, boy tells "we're not gonna leave you... untill we rock you like a?"
oh brother! that time i knew... the time had come!! my heart skipped a beat...
then the guitars started... oh bajezus... and klaus... tran tran... Its early morning... the sun comes out... last night was shaking... and pretty loud... my cat is purring... and scratches my skin... so what is wrong with anaaaother sin? The bitch is hungry, she needs to tell... so give her inches and feed her well... more days to come new... places to go... Ive got to leave its... time for a shoooooww...
Here I am, rocked you like a hurricane
Here I am, rocked you like a hurricane
Oh my god!! i simply cant forget that night!! and that is when i decided, i'm going to every live concert that i have access to!!
Scorpions! My god!! i bow... no prostrate to them!!
and to know more, Klaus is a '48 born!! which means... he is... freakin almost 60 years old! and the energy he has! you HAVE to see the Scorpions live! atleast once in your freakin short ass life!!
Sunday, December 2, 2007
long time no see...
Its been a real long time that i 'blogged' - still the word makes me wanna puke...
anyway... that outta the system... i was thinking of what to blog (yuk) about... i've been to lotsa places since my swiss trip... and everyone of which was just amazing! Pisa, Rome, Milan, AMSTERDAM! and few more! thought i'd write about that...
but thats for some other time... coz i need to get the pics in order...
so... now, lets talk about porn :) I see you scrolling down... sorry! there are no 'that kinda' pics here! u gotta go to the proper websites... if you want a list, let me know... i can help you...
but anyway... i was reading a post by incognito boy...
and then i thought... yeah! i've been there!! and to juice it up, i'm talkin bout porn :D
so here i'm in flash back mode... those days!! were real cool! :)
**********************************************************************
Disclaimer - Internet is one of the best sources of information... i owe my present state to internet... lotsa info that i have... many friends i've made -> the internet... how i stay in touch with my frnds and family from 5ive thousand miles away is only because of internet!
and i dont want to hear anyone say internet means porn. period... coz thats not true... porn is also kinda info... u kno... so... dont equate internet = porn... remember, porn > internet :)
***********************************************************************
it started after 10th std, in the year 2000 AD... i'd finished the exams and was getting ready to go to the Intel International Science and Engineering Fair... and i needed to send receive mails! And i was new to using a computer! so i asked my neighbour to make an email ID for me...
he wanted my birthday as well! i was like... ow! cool... its like a passport or something! a freakin mailID!!
the next day, he told me it was done...
mailID - Venkatasubramanian.M@excitemail.com (with a unique name like this, i dont need to use numbers and all!)
password - i seriously dont remember!! i think it was something like venkat_85 or something...
back in those days, excitemail was free... just for curiosity, i did open excite.com, just now, and they've kicked me out i guess! :(
so... he was the one who used to check my mails and tell me... and i would tell him what to reply...
then one day i though i'd try it myself... it was the holidays... and I had nothing much to do really! so, i set out... with a friend of mine... Mr.Mohan... (guru... if you happen to read this, just leme kno u exist)
he used to sit next to me in school... it was with him that i "learnt" what an intercourse is... off course with the help of an oxford dictionary... and some quick wit! thats another amusing story... may narrate ASAP...
anyway... i took him over to an internet cafe... it was called Netizen :) and we had to pay about 30 bucks an hour, i guess... and then opened excite.com and keyed in my name and password, which i'd on a piece of paper... i'm not jason bourne!! rather, i was not :P
and i typed in my corespondent's mail id and the message and wola! i'd sent my first email!
we used to come almost daily... and my mom used to give me those 30 bucks... and then one day, the ingenious mohan came up with an idea... you guessed right... porn!! :)
i new they existed, but never knew how to go about... lets just say i didnt know the art of gettin pics of naked women on my computer screen!
and mr.hero told me there is a website jcbaba dot com... (thats what i heard)
i was sitting at the keyboard, as I'd paid for the internet... and then i typed www.jcbaba.com... and i got a "This Page can't be displayed" message!
and then he said it was desi baba dot com... and then it appeared... the desibaba.com verification page...
clicked on the "Click here if you are above 18" button (seriously i dont still know why they have that) and then opened the home page...
the first porn site i'd ever visited!
First time i saw the stuff... was awestruck!! :) you dont get to see a fukin nude woman every day! atleast i had not gotta see that everyday... untill that day :)
two freakin 10th std kids sittin in an internet cafe lookin at naked women, for the first time :) Internet... u fukin RULE!
we went straight to the actress section and were drooling over the numerous fakes pics of actresses... how many times i've visited that site after that, even god cant tell! :)
now i'm so damn good that i dont need to visit any website for seeing naked women... i can do it right in my head - anyone, anywhere, anytime ;) ,\,,/ its an art... not everyone can do it... or appreciate it :)
next year... i was in PUC... and there was a new chain of cyber cafes that opened near my place... and they had branches near my college as well... and as an intro they gave 30 minutes of browsing for free (jagga and suraj would remember the names of this offer as well!!)... haha... somebody gonna get a hurt real bad! how many aliases i've used i dont know! free internet porn!! YES PLEASE!! even today i'll be intrigued by that offer!! if you say ur not, you are lying... and thats a pho phuk lai! (damn! Russel Peters is the man!!)
i'd used so many aliases and had taken so many people to the free internet thing that those people could recognise me! so i was not allowed any more... and in two branches... gandhi bazar and rajajinagar... paapa!
that was long ago... and then i grew... and i knew how to use floppies... and then in the next level, i knew how to use Ctrl-Alt-Del... some cyber cafes used to have a program which would automatically log u out after the time u've paid for... unless u hit Ctrl-Alt-Del and disable that software... and then it was P.A.R.T.... Y? because it was unlimited browsing for price of 30 minutes!! - i miss this! now i cant simply Ctrl-Alt-Del my way around no more!
and, by reading all this, dont get me totally wrong! when i say browsing, i don't always mean porn!! many factors decides what i do on internet!
the place where the comp was situated in the cafe was a major concern... often i used to fight for a secure PC :) else, i used to goto F1.com... collect pictures of cars, planes, super models (FYI also clothed ones) and many many things... i used to play online games... even now i have more than 10000 points at indiatimes contests... and i havent redeemed them points at all... and there was contests2win... i think this is still there...
you may ask, if i have ever been caught doing this... and the answer is NO... the only possibility of anyone finding out about this is after reading this blog! - now it doesn't really bother me if someone finds out ,\,,/
i used to take several measures while doing it at home... and i tell you internet explorer sucks... use mozilla! its damn easy to erase traces! :)
next question... do i do it now? - well... now i dont really go behind pics of nekkid wumen (unless they are exxxtremely hot, these ones deserve to be posters in my room), i have limewire and naughty america :)
anyway... that outta the system... i was thinking of what to blog (yuk) about... i've been to lotsa places since my swiss trip... and everyone of which was just amazing! Pisa, Rome, Milan, AMSTERDAM! and few more! thought i'd write about that...
but thats for some other time... coz i need to get the pics in order...
so... now, lets talk about porn :) I see you scrolling down... sorry! there are no 'that kinda' pics here! u gotta go to the proper websites... if you want a list, let me know... i can help you...
but anyway... i was reading a post by incognito boy...
and then i thought... yeah! i've been there!! and to juice it up, i'm talkin bout porn :D
so here i'm in flash back mode... those days!! were real cool! :)
**********************************************************************
Disclaimer - Internet is one of the best sources of information... i owe my present state to internet... lotsa info that i have... many friends i've made -> the internet... how i stay in touch with my frnds and family from 5ive thousand miles away is only because of internet!
and i dont want to hear anyone say internet means porn. period... coz thats not true... porn is also kinda info... u kno... so... dont equate internet = porn... remember, porn > internet :)
***********************************************************************
it started after 10th std, in the year 2000 AD... i'd finished the exams and was getting ready to go to the Intel International Science and Engineering Fair... and i needed to send receive mails! And i was new to using a computer! so i asked my neighbour to make an email ID for me...
he wanted my birthday as well! i was like... ow! cool... its like a passport or something! a freakin mailID!!
the next day, he told me it was done...
mailID - Venkatasubramanian.M@excitemail.com (with a unique name like this, i dont need to use numbers and all!)
password - i seriously dont remember!! i think it was something like venkat_85 or something...
back in those days, excitemail was free... just for curiosity, i did open excite.com, just now, and they've kicked me out i guess! :(
so... he was the one who used to check my mails and tell me... and i would tell him what to reply...
then one day i though i'd try it myself... it was the holidays... and I had nothing much to do really! so, i set out... with a friend of mine... Mr.Mohan... (guru... if you happen to read this, just leme kno u exist)
he used to sit next to me in school... it was with him that i "learnt" what an intercourse is... off course with the help of an oxford dictionary... and some quick wit! thats another amusing story... may narrate ASAP...
anyway... i took him over to an internet cafe... it was called Netizen :) and we had to pay about 30 bucks an hour, i guess... and then opened excite.com and keyed in my name and password, which i'd on a piece of paper... i'm not jason bourne!! rather, i was not :P
and i typed in my corespondent's mail id and the message and wola! i'd sent my first email!
we used to come almost daily... and my mom used to give me those 30 bucks... and then one day, the ingenious mohan came up with an idea... you guessed right... porn!! :)
i new they existed, but never knew how to go about... lets just say i didnt know the art of gettin pics of naked women on my computer screen!
and mr.hero told me there is a website jcbaba dot com... (thats what i heard)
i was sitting at the keyboard, as I'd paid for the internet... and then i typed www.jcbaba.com... and i got a "This Page can't be displayed" message!
and then he said it was desi baba dot com... and then it appeared... the desibaba.com verification page...
clicked on the "Click here if you are above 18" button (seriously i dont still know why they have that) and then opened the home page...
the first porn site i'd ever visited!
First time i saw the stuff... was awestruck!! :) you dont get to see a fukin nude woman every day! atleast i had not gotta see that everyday... untill that day :)
two freakin 10th std kids sittin in an internet cafe lookin at naked women, for the first time :) Internet... u fukin RULE!
we went straight to the actress section and were drooling over the numerous fakes pics of actresses... how many times i've visited that site after that, even god cant tell! :)
now i'm so damn good that i dont need to visit any website for seeing naked women... i can do it right in my head - anyone, anywhere, anytime ;) ,\,,/ its an art... not everyone can do it... or appreciate it :)
next year... i was in PUC... and there was a new chain of cyber cafes that opened near my place... and they had branches near my college as well... and as an intro they gave 30 minutes of browsing for free (jagga and suraj would remember the names of this offer as well!!)... haha... somebody gonna get a hurt real bad! how many aliases i've used i dont know! free internet porn!! YES PLEASE!! even today i'll be intrigued by that offer!! if you say ur not, you are lying... and thats a pho phuk lai! (damn! Russel Peters is the man!!)
i'd used so many aliases and had taken so many people to the free internet thing that those people could recognise me! so i was not allowed any more... and in two branches... gandhi bazar and rajajinagar... paapa!
that was long ago... and then i grew... and i knew how to use floppies... and then in the next level, i knew how to use Ctrl-Alt-Del... some cyber cafes used to have a program which would automatically log u out after the time u've paid for... unless u hit Ctrl-Alt-Del and disable that software... and then it was P.A.R.T.... Y? because it was unlimited browsing for price of 30 minutes!! - i miss this! now i cant simply Ctrl-Alt-Del my way around no more!
and, by reading all this, dont get me totally wrong! when i say browsing, i don't always mean porn!! many factors decides what i do on internet!
the place where the comp was situated in the cafe was a major concern... often i used to fight for a secure PC :) else, i used to goto F1.com... collect pictures of cars, planes, super models (FYI also clothed ones) and many many things... i used to play online games... even now i have more than 10000 points at indiatimes contests... and i havent redeemed them points at all... and there was contests2win... i think this is still there...
you may ask, if i have ever been caught doing this... and the answer is NO... the only possibility of anyone finding out about this is after reading this blog! - now it doesn't really bother me if someone finds out ,\,,/
i used to take several measures while doing it at home... and i tell you internet explorer sucks... use mozilla! its damn easy to erase traces! :)
next question... do i do it now? - well... now i dont really go behind pics of nekkid wumen (unless they are exxxtremely hot, these ones deserve to be posters in my room), i have limewire and naughty america :)
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